Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
no you cant smoke seaweed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
