Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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