ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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