just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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