...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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