so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize