I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
