You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
