So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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