I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize