Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
