overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
