I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
