Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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