I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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