If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never underestimate the power of titties
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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