theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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