He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
