i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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