Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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