I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
