Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
