She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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