she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
