break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
