im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
