CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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