I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
