pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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