Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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