we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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