so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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