i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
