Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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