I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
