like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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