He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
