You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
