white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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