Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
