I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
