if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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