every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The struggles of a small town man whore
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
