The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
