I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
