we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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