so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
