But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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