Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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