Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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