omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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