This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
my liver is dry heaving
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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