So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize