Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to rekindle our bromance
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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