Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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