Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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