Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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